Erasmus paced in his study, strutting in and out of crimson sunlight that filtered through a thick window and splashed in coppery pools on the floor. When compared with human behavior, the robot realized he was acting somewhat… nervous. He had all of the necessary materials ready, but it was the first time he had ever faced such an ordeal with Gilbertus. According to his studies of human home life and ancient cultures, this was a rite of human passage for a young man.

If only he could delegate the task. But Erasmus had no wife to assume such burdens. A slave, then? He didn’t want anyone to disrupt the progress he had made with his young ward.

The robot had considered the problem at length, wondering how he should approach such a delicate issue with Gilbertus Albans. To a thinking machine, the topic was not sensitive at all, a mere biological curiosity, an inefficient and messy natural process. But to many humans it seemed special, even mystical.

This made no logical sense. It was like a thinking machine being reticent to discuss the concept of AI software and hardware, the ways in which various machines were manufactured, assembled, and networked… the myriad methods in which update spheres were duplicated and exchanged.

The act of creation.

On his ornate desk, the robot had piled appropriate diagrams and literature. Two human mannequins were propped up on a couch, in an embrace. He had contemplated simply providing male and female slaves from the pens, by way of demonstration subjects, but felt that would be too easy. Desiring to learn more about what it meant to be human, Erasmus did not want to shirk his “paternal” duties.

Humans called the bodily function “sex” and other longer words, some of which were not considered acceptable in polite company, according to ancient records from various civilizations. Erasmus found that peculiar as well. How could a mere word offend?

He recited a series of words that described the copulatory function, letting each of them roll off his flowmetal lips for the maximum effect. He repeated some of the words, those said to be the most socially unacceptable. Nothing. They had no effect on him. He simply could not understand what all of the fuss was about.

The functioning of thinking machines was so much simpler and more straightforward… except for a curious robot like himself. These plaguing questions and conundrums could be most frustrating.

He had initiated his research into human nature because he found the complexities of the species so interesting and so eminently alien. Erasmus wanted to assimilate the pieces of the human brain and consciousness that had been left out when they had designed the original AI machines. But he most certainly did not desire to become human himself. Erasmus wanted the best of both universes.

Young Gilbertus had opened the robot’s investigative mind in many ways. Curiously, as Erasmus pursued the project further, he began to discover things about his relationship with the adopted boy (who was approximately twelve), at a time when the human’s hormones were growing more active. Two years ago, upon accepting Omnius’s challenge, Erasmus had never thought in terms of father and son. At first it had seemed totally absurd, a physiological and emotional impossibility. But as he taught the boy and watched him progress, the autonomous thinking machine took pride in what he saw, and things fell into place.

Almost naturally.

A curious bond had formed between them, and they enjoyed one another’s company immensely… with a few notable exceptions. The panic experiments that Erasmus had conducted in the slave pens did not go over very well with the young man, but perhaps that would change in time. Surprisingly, Erasmus found that they learned almost equally from one another. With all of the research he had conducted up to today, Erasmus thought he should be able to complete the task at hand without any trouble. If only he could get over an inexplicable feeling of uneasiness…

Had some remnant of the human puritanism about sexual matters been installed into Erasmus’s operating programs? That might explain it, or he might be feeling this artificial sensation because he wanted to feel it, in order to better understand the dilemma that had historically faced human fathers.

While Erasmus was always punctual, the boy was chronically tardy. Too frequently Gilbertus became distracted with other interests, yielding to some fascination with subjects and experiences that he would then breathlessly explain to his mentor. The robot considered it a significant flaw, but quite human.

He heard a rap at the door, and it slid open. A gawky boy sauntered in, his straw-yellow hair tousled and his face red. Evidently he had run all the way here.

“You are late as usual.” Erasmus formed his flowmetal face into a stern, parental countenance.

“I’m sorry, Mr. Erasmus. But only nine minutes this time. Yesterday it was—”

“Let us begin our lesson without further delay.” Erasmus wanted to get it over with. “I have prepared a number of diagrams for you, along with detailed reports and displays on human procreation. I hope you find them instructive.”

The boy seemed curious, but not uncomfortable. “Is this another biology lesson? Are we going to dissect something?”

Thus far, Erasmus had only dissected lower animal forms in front of the boy, but intended to build up to human subjects one day. The robot wanted to take this slowly, not wishing to alienate the young man or make him advance too quickly. Some of Gilbertus’s reactions to violence seemed overly sensitive.

“Not… this time. We will deal in biological reproductive theory for now, though I can arrange for you to put the techniques into practice, should you feel the urge.”

The young man nodded, and paid close attention as the robot walked over to the couch to examine the anatomically correct mannequins he had positioned there. “You will note that we have two basic human forms here, male and female. They are wearing traditional clothing, and are accurate in every external detail.” He motioned to the boy. “Step this way, please. You will note that the man and woman are embracing, and that the man has his mouth near her ear.”

Dutifully, Gilbertus followed the silvery robot, and peered intensely at the tableau. Erasmus gathered his thoughts, and his composure. “The mannequins are not fitted with full simulation mechanics, so you will have to imagine the next part. Apparently it is a necessary procedure in proper courtship ritual. The man will kiss her ear, lick it, and promise his everlasting love. Traditionally, this causes the woman to go into heat.” He looked sternly at the boy. “Do you understand this so far?”

Gilbertus nodded. Somewhat to Erasmus’s consternation, the boy displayed a detached curiosity with no uneasiness whatsoever, and no apparent urges of his own.

“Next, the man will kiss her on the mouth. At this point both will begin to salivate heavily,” Erasmus said in a professorial tone. “Salivation is a key element in procreation. Apparently kissing serves to make the female more fertile.”

The boy nodded, and half smiled. Erasmus took this to mean that he understood. Good! The robot began to rub the faces of the mannequins together, briskly.

“Now this is very important,” Erasmus said. “Salivation and ovulation. Remember those two concepts and you will have a basic grasp of the human reproductive process. After the kissing, intercourse begins immediately.” He began to speak more rapidly. “That is all you need to know about human copulation. Do you have any questions, Gilbertus?”

“No, Mr. Erasmus,” the boy said. “I believe you have explained everything quite clearly.”