since discord has announced there plans to scan messages,and scan IDs I've started using IRC and matrix more,and they work fine,but the issues arrise when trying to get friends to follow,so far out of nearly 30 friends some very close,only a few have jumped ship
and fewer use matrix consistantly

its a shame,there was a huge push at first for people to get off discord,and many did but so many more aren't gonna bother,they'll stay because they like the UI,or some servers  they use

or maybe a trusted friend doesnt want to move
but if people don't act as one nothing will change,it hardly matters what you switch to,nor if you self host,but splitting up and leaving discord and making our voices hear is the bare minume if we expect anything to change